Well, hilarious to me at least.… Read the rest
Today I received this message:
I have spoken to my partner and he does not like your attitude ONE BIT!! We are now rethinking our ransom price and if you do not wise up we will hold Larry over boiling water or worse yet sew him onto a DIRTY baby diaper! Don’t think we won’t do it so change your tone and contact me soon for further instructions. Not that you deserve it but we will send proof of life as a good will gesture on OUR part but that’s it!! WE make the rules not YOU so watch your mail and contact us the. BHG
Really? You’d really sew a button onto a dirty diaper? Ew! Okay, then. Do it. I call your bluff. Go find yourself the dirtiest diaper around. A big one, too. Make it an adult diaper. Then sew Larry on there. You know what? I don’t think you’ll do it. You couldn’t. No one in their right mind would handle a dirty diaper that closely!
So what is it? My next instruction, that is. I’m assuming we’re still on for the original $3k? You’ll get your money… but you’d better watch your back. And your … Read the rest
Posted by MW | Posted in Miscellaneous | Posted on 01-16-2010
Tags: Humor
Larry!
2
On Christmas Eve I wore a cute brown skirt with 6 big brown buttons on it. They worked as a team to hold my wraparound skirt closed. The buttons looked similar to the ones on this skirt, only they were integral to the skirt, not merely decoration.
When I came home I realized that one of my buttons was gone. Gone! It was a huge part of the skirt. Without it, the skirt is just useless. I was devastated. Heartbroken. Certain I’d never see Larry again.
What? You don’t name your buttons? Well I do. And Larry was the glue that kept my underwear from showing. Now that I think about it, I wonder how early in the evening Larry let go of his thread? How long was I baring my panties to my parents, my in-laws, and their drunk friends?
Today, I received this in the mail:
To the persons holding Larry hostage: Please don’t hurt him! I will pay you for him as soon as I have proof of life. Please send me a picture of Larry, unharmed, with today’s newspaper. Along with this please include the location you would like to meet for the exchange, and when … Read the rest
I do girly things like spend 7 hours in the kitchen making cookie dough pops for my in-laws for Christmas.
I also post pictures of my puppy. His name is Buckles, and he’s awesome.
