If you feed your puppy carrots, you’ll have a dog who thinks vegetables are better than milkbones for the rest of his life. Baby carrots are best, but for a laugh give him a dildo sized carrot. You’ll have to vacuum when he’s done, but he’ll be thrilled.… Read the rest
Dinner: A steak, broiled. Broccoli, steamed. Potatoes, mashed.
Simple enough, right? Make the steak a chicken breast, the broccoli a pile of peas, and the potatoes white rice. It’s not any different. It’s protein, vegetable, and carbohydrate.
I was just browsing the vegetarian section over on Tasty Kitchen, and I realized that all of the recipes suck. They look good, but in essence, they suck. They all involve fruit. None of them are for men, that’s for sure. They’re full of odd ingredients that normal people don’t typically have around their kitchen. I know vegetarians aren’t normal people, and this helps to account for some of the recipes. But none of those odd, healthy little people seem to think about us meat eaters. Their recipes are for people like them only. People that have a 50 lb sack of quinoa in their pantry, a wedge of raclette in their fridge, and daikon in the fruit bowl. The fact that my spell checker thinks all of those words are nonexistent means I’m on to something.
I ask myself, why does a vegetarian need those things? To be honest, my husband actually asked me. Here is the conversation we had:
Him: … Read the rest
5 days ago these were small white seeds in a small white envelope. Now they are on their way to becoming tomatoes.… Read the rest
Inspired by Best Cookie Ever
6 tablespoons regular salted butter, melted
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
1 cup chocolate graham cracker crumbs
16 ounces cream cheese, very soft
3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs, large
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon lemon juice
12 ounces raspberry jam
1 cup raspberries
Preheat oven to 350F.
I use chocolate teddy grahams for my chocolate graham cracker crumbs.
Mix together the butter with the graham cracker crumbs thoroughly. Press this mixture into the bottom of a glass 13×9 pan. Place into the refrigerator. to cool while you ready your other ingredients.
Put your cream cheese into the bowl of an electric mixer, or into a large bowl and grab a whisk. Beat the cream cheese until it is smooth and creamy. If you’re using an electric mixer, do this on medium speed. Pause periodically to scrape down the sides.
Add the vanilla and the lemon juice and mix until blended.
Add the eggs and sugar and mix until blended. Don’t neglect to scrape down the sides of the mixer if you are using one.
Set aside the cheese mixture and get your jam. Stir the jam until it is easily spreadable. Take your cooled … Read the rest
