Modern WenchCooking, Baking, Gardening, Parenting, Pregnancy, Photos, and Humor. Enough?

I’ve been busy making bags, fixing bags, embellishing bags, and working on my sewing skills. Mother’s day is tomorrow and I have gifts for my mom and my mother-in-law. I’ve always believed that giving something handmade is far better than giving something purchased.

When I was a kid I would draw on tissues with washable marker, then either splash them with or quickly dunk them in water. The ink would run all over the place, the colors would mix, and I’d end up with a multicolored tissue that could double as abstract art. I called these things “gleeches” (Why? Because I was 7.) and I’d use them to wrap gifts or stuff into gift bags. In case you were wondering, tissues don’t make good wrapping paper, even if they’re beautiful. And by beautiful, I mean beautiful through the eyes of a 7-year-old child, which could actually mean ugly.

As a pre-teen, I would make and give friendship bracelets to everyone I knew. That evolved into anklets, necklaces, headbands, chokers, rings – basically knotted string or gimp for every appendage possible. Keychains, too. I loved making keychains. I would take apart jewelry that I got from a kiosk my aunt owned … Read the rest

No, no, not that kind of weed. I mean ragweed, dandelion, crabgrass, onion grass, and other assorted pests of plants. We’ve got plenty of grass, too, but there are still a number of bare spots that we just reseeded. Until that seed germinates, we have to create a hospitable environment for seeds of all kinds. That means we’re basically encouraging our weeds to grow. I should have cut them all down before they went to seed, but I didn’t and now it is too late.

Hopefully in a month or so the bare spots will be lush with grass, at which point I’ll put down some sort of weed killer/grass feeder. That’s called “weed and feed.”

What I originally thought I would buy, back when I started this whole lawn project, is “weed and seed.” This is a product that would kill the weeds that were currently growing where I wanted grass, while also providing grass seed. I was mighty sad when I learned that weed killers prevent germination, and that no such product exists.

Come on, Scott’s! Come on, Miracle-Gro! Come on, Monsanto! You haven’t been able to conquer this problem yet? I’ll help you out: Engineer yourself a … Read the rest

Inspired by this tutorial, and stuck with a shrunken sweater, I decided to make a bag. I enjoyed it so much that I went to the thrift store and purchased a dozen or so wool sweaters, some of them for only $1! I made a bag for my friend, then one for my mother-in-law. Then I made myself another, and I don’t know what I’ll do with the rest I’m going to make. Maybe I should open an Etsy store? It was a fun and relaxing way to pass time, so I plan to make a bunch.

The first one I made, with the stripes, used to be my husband’s sweater and now it is holding all of the newly felted sweaters. The bag with the dots is pretty small. It’s funny shaped, but I like it. I’m using it now for my knitting bag. It holds two skeins nicely. The black one went to my friend, who is using it as a knitting bag as well.

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Are you a stumbleupon user? I am.

If you’re not, let me ask you this: what the hell do you do on the internet? Because I really can’t remember what I did before I started stumbling in 2006.

In case you’re unfamiliar with stumbleupon, it’s a “social bookmarking network.” I prefer to describe it as an amazing way to learn things, discover topics that you didn’t realize you were interested in, and keep in touch with your friends and family. I’ve made a few friends via stumbleupon, but really I use it mostly to share websites directly with my friends. My husband and I will sit right next to each other and send each other pages for hours, stopping to discuss things that interest us or watch a video.

If you haven’t used it, try it. Give it a week. More than half of the people I introduce to it continue to use it on a regular basis, and I use it for hours every day.

I was looking at my stumbleupon pages today, and for the first time decided to take a look at my tag cloud. It was a moment of revelation. I was looking at 4 years … Read the rest

I’d love to know whose hazelnut coffee spilled all over the package I sent to my friend. What the fuck, post office? It seems to me like your employees shouldn’t be allowed to have drinks near the packages you’ve been charged to ship. And to spill it on media mail? That’s just the worst! It’s books, you fucker! Now I have to send my friend a coffee-laden book. Bah. I am not pleased. I hope when I go to mail it, you happily refund the $2.77 that I paid to send a book on a short vacation to your Baltimore sorting facility. And maybe the dollar I spent on the envelope, too. Fuckers.

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We have ducks living in our bush.

There’s no water here. It’s just a neighborhood.

There’s a large creek about a mile away.

I wonder if that’s where they’re headed.

… Read the rest