Scheduling a birth is a very strange thing. I know exactly when my baby will be born. I know the date, I know the approximate time, and I can plan my schedule accordingly. While it’s extraordinarily convenient, it somehow just doesn’t seem right.
For example, 2 weeks ago I was able to schedule 2.5 weeks for our business to be closed. When customers called, I could say “The last day we’ll be working will be April 2, and then we’ll be closed until April 22 because we’re having a baby.”
Today, when I talk about tomorrow I can say, “We’ll go get gas in the car, stop at the post office to mail out our taxes, and we’ll go to the bank. Then we’ll go have a baby.”
How weird is that?
Since I know the birth is tomorrow, around 2:30, I can truly decide how I’d like to spend my last days. Last night my husband and I went out for a nice dinner. The last dinner we’ll have in a restaurant without spaghetti on the walls for quite some time, I imagine. I started with crab dip, he got bean soup. Then I got salmon with spinach and tomatoes, and he got ribs. We even both got dessert, something we very rarely do. He got a brownie sundae, I got bananas foster. We sat for almost 2 hours at the restaurant, and just really enjoyed each others company. It was lovely, and if I had to wait to spontaneously go into labor, that meal wouldn’t have happened.
Today I’m doing lots of laundry. I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom really well. I’ll probably vacuum the carpets and sweep the wood floors, and try to take care of anything else I don’t think I’ll be able to do with a cesarean scar. Then I’ll (over)pack my hospital bag, picking out what I’ll want to wear while I’m in the hospital and on my way home.
When I’m done with all of that? I think I’ll play video games for a few hours. That’s right, I’m going to spend my last few hours of not being a mother playing games. Why? Because I can. Because for the last time for the next 20-30 years, the time I have is my own. I can do whatever I’d like, uninterrupted, and I’d like to relax with a PlayStation.
So while I’m scared of the surgery, terrified of the epidural, and I feel a little bit cheated out of having a natural birth, I can at least enjoy the fact that I get to do exactly what I’d like to do with my last days before the birth.
In 25.5 hours I’ll have a daughter. I can’t wait to meet her.