The Worst Thing Ever

My mother-in-law gave me this yesterday. She was cleaning out some junk, and this was in the pile of crap she decided to get rid of. A friend of hers had picked it up at a yard sale thinking it was funny, and my mother-in-law was too sweet to tell that friend just how repulsive she thought the thing was. So she gave it to me, with instructions to “give it away or break it” making it very clear that she didn’t ever want to see it again. And who can blame her?

It’s awful. It’s horrendous. It’s even a little creepy. And you know what I’m going to do with it? Keep until Christmas, and then give it back to her. I have exactly 6 months to wait with this monstrosity, and I’m not sure I could make it even a day longer.

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My First Mother’s Day

I spent the morning with my mother and mother-in-law, along with my daughter. It was a wonderful morning, filled with quiche, coffee, and chocolates. I’m looking forward to future Mother’s Days, ones when she knows she shouldn’t spend the day screaming and fussing. Ones that aren’t filled with diaper rash and bottle warmings. Ones that come with handmade cards and sloppy fruit salads. Ones where we can sit and laugh and enjoy our time together. Until then, though, I’ll enjoy what I’ve got. And what I’ve got is the cutest, sweetest, most lovable infant around. Sure, she’s needy. It’s her job to be. And it’s my job to pace the floor in the wee hours, strengthening my arm muscles. It’s my job to massage her tear ducts, blot her diaper rash, file her tiny nails, wipe her chin, and scrub her scalp. While it’s exhausting, it’s also the best job I’ve ever had.

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1 Month and 100 Posts

I can’t believe it’s been over a month since Sagan was born. And I can’t believe that this is my 100th post on this blog. Both of those facts are overwhelming me a bit right now. Of course, I’m easily overwhelmed from lack of sleep and the occasional feelings of utter helplessness. When I’m not feeling helpless in the face of an inconsolable infant, I’m completely in awe of her existence. It’s a strange mix of emotions. The following pictures are a mix of the good and bad from the past month.

She looks like she smells something funny, doesn’t she?

Enough with the pictures already!

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Mom and Baby

There aren’t a lot of pictures of me that I’m willing to show people. There aren’t a lot of pictures of me, period. I rarely let them be taken, and I certainly never encourage it. I’m not photogenic AT ALL. In fact, I may be the least photogenic person I know.

That being said, I am posting these pictures anyway. They’re not awful, and considering the subject matter, I actually love them. Since I have so few pictures of me with my daughter, I may as well embrace the ones I do have.

It’s probably a combination of crappy lighting and the point-and-shoot that my mother-in-law used that make these shots so unoffensive to me. If the quality were higher there would be way too much detail and I wouldn’t be sharing them here.

Anyway, that’s me at 32 and Sagan at 12 days old. I hope that if she ends up looking like me she at least photographs better.

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The Reality Of Lighting

I strive to never use the flash on my camera, I really do. But sometimes it’s inevitable. There are moments that I need to capture, and the lighting is not always accurate. In the past I’ve just foregone taking those shots, but now that I have a daughter, every moment is that much more precious. I’d rather capture the moment with a flash than just completely miss it. So I get crappy shots. So what? At least I get them.

My baby with my favorite lady (my husband’s mom). How sweet is that?

Sagan with her Aunt Janine (my husband’s step-sister).

My daughter with my best friend and her parents, who have been like a second set of parents to me for over 20 years.

My baby with my baby sister.

While using a flash may not be ideal, it’s certainly better than not having photos of all the people that some to show their love and support for me, for my husband, and for my perfect little baby. Maybe someday I’ll live in a house with bright sunny windows all over the place. But for now, while I live in what equates to a cave, I’ll stick with my

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10 Days

My baby is 10 days old today. It’s a crazy experience, being a first time mom. It’s overwhelming, scary, exhausting, and still completely wonderful.

It’s unreal how small her hands are.

Those tiny little fingers.

And the feet.

Oh, the feet.

It’s amazing that such little feet can even exist.

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